sandinmyhair | Ryslig IC Inbox

[It's a few days after the encounter on the street that a message pops up, typed out by shaking hands in the dark.]

Bruno, hallo.

I want to apologizze for everything the o
ther day. I feel terr ible. I was not myself, I did not mean any of it! I was not well!

I care very much for you, Bruno, I hope that you know
that. I would nevvver want to be crue
l to you like I was.

You are not the only one

who I hurt.

I am so sorry.

[And it's a day or so after that before Bruno has the energy to even look at the network, let alone do anything else. He reads this curled up in a nest of blankets, listlessly pushing spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth. He stares at the words for several beats before sleepily typing:]

i wasnt really myself, either. i let things grind me down until i didnt have any patience left. i wasnt thinking and i kind of lashed out.

was it because you hadnt fed/ thisll sound weird but i hope you managed to feed okay. but i think i know the answer to that. was it someone you knew/

i forgive you, though. that hunger can really mess with a person's head.

I think we are both guilty of thaat.

Yes. I knew that I nee
ded to, but I...I couldn't do it. After seei ng that terrible broadcast I couldnt do it. So I tried not to, and...it was foolish. It was stupid.

...I did. Three people, Bruno . Three. And one was my friend Harry. Reverie had to snap me out of it. I couldn''t stop.

Thank you for forgiving me. I

I can't stand this. Not souls. I need to find a better way.

oh no

oh, no, alfred i am so sorry
souls

brillanto pointed something out to me, that theyre energy and energy cant be created or destroyed, only changed, so it

maybe still goes on to an afterlife or reborn or something

i hope
i mean i really really hope
i wish we didnt have to do this

Edited 2022-04-12 06:18 (UTC)

I have been throu
gh many things, but that may have been the worst thing I have ever been through. I did somethin g terrifying with my powers without even knowwing. i've been having nightmares since.

That is a go
od point. I hope it is true

I wish we didn't, either. I know sometimes people change monsters, or ask things of Mana.

Maybe th ere is a way to ask to feed differently, too?

I just can't do THAT again

I was horrible

there is a way but la manas price is high. ive heard a lot of talk about how you have to collect a lot of those coins.

you
you werent horrible

it wasnt you it was what the fog has done to us. the fog wants us to suffer as much as she wants the humans to suffer. we have no choice.

we can redefine what it means to be a monster.

If that is wh
at it takes, then I will do it. I can't do that aga in. I cant.

...

But Bruno, what if thaat WAS me? what if

I

i don't know ho w to explain

I don't even know how to defiine who I am in the fi
rst place

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